We get what we have, not what we want
We have all heard the phrase, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” This is true, but not because of the reasons that most people think. People have blamed the education system, minimum wage and expensive health care. In my opinion, even though these factors have some influence, the main factor is based on an universal principle of “what we focus on will expand.” Or, from another angle (the law of tithing), we reap (receive) what we sew (give).
To see this, think about a time where you have approached a situation with anger. More often then not, what did you get back? Anger? When you have approached a similar situation with kindness, what did you get back? You may think that you get your way more often when you are angry, like at a restaurant when you send food back. Yet, as we have been hearing more of in the restaurant business, the food we get back may have been altered due to passive aggressive anger of the servers or cooks. So think twice of what you want back (anger or kindness) and then focus on this energy so that you send it out.
How does this apply to finances? If we focus on lack, then lack will expand. If we focus on what we have, then what we have will expand. For example, those who know that they can succeed (usually from past success influencing their frame of mind) tend to be more successful. Thus, the term the rich get richer. For those that doubt their ability to succeed, they tend to be less successful (poor get poorer). This is why financial planners suggest starting an emergency/savings fund even if it is only with $5 a month. This is because the person can change is thoughts from “I want to save” to “I am saving”. It may seem like a small difference. Yet, “I want to save” signifies that one does not have money (a lack). When there is a lack, the question is why? More than not, there is doubt that they can save. If there is any doubt, it is less likely to be able to save because the focus is on debt or inability to save which will expand. So saving even $5 a day, starts the new belief that saving is possible and the ability to save will start to expand.
The same idea applies with tithing. Those that do not tithe is doing so because they believe that they do not have enough and that belief in not having enough will expand. Those that give freely (not out of commitment) are probably doing so because they have a belief that they have enough and thus belief is what expands. So tithing freely (out of joy rather commitment) is about changing ones belief of lack to having enough (even if it is a small amount).
This also applies to practicing gratitude because with gratitude the focus is on what you have instead of what you want.
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June 26th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Great post! I couldn’t have said it any better. Suze Orman talks a lot about being generous as a way to recieve more, and I have seen it in my own life too. Also, like you said, focus on what you don’t have and that is what you will continue to recieve!
June 28th, 2006 at 9:18 am
[…] How do we switch from poverty to prosperity? By changing your thoughts! Just last week, a member of my church got a call from a debt collection agency. The call was about a debt from a previous marriage that he had been delinquent for 4 years. Each time he thought about the debt (or got calls from debt collection agencies about it), he would get angry about how his ex-wife should be paying for her own debt, not him. When he got the last week call, his first reaction was to react in anger and was ready to yell at the caller. Yet, he reminded himself that he had a choice of anger or love. He decided to use love instead of anger. He responded to the caller (whose name was Nicole) by saying that his daughter was also named Nicole and was wondering what he could do to solve this problem. After some discussion, they agreed for him to send the debt agency a money order (via overnight mail) for $300 of the $2,300 in debt, which he gladly did. After taking responsibility for the debt and his reaction to it, his fortune changed. The next day he played the lottery and won. Yet, it did not end there. He won the following day as well. In total, he won two 4-figure jackpots. This was enough money to pay off not only the remainder of his $2,300 loan, but also the 3 other smaller loans he had. So by paying off his debt, he allowed prosperity to come into his life. This does not mean that if you pay off some of your debt that you will win the lottery. Yet, if you do take charge of your debt, it will become easier to pay them off. When you avoid or get angry or get resentful about your debt, you will not see the options available to pay it off. And as the saying goes, what we resist, persist. So, ignoring debt will not make it go away. It is like I wrote about last week, “We get what we have, not what we want” . If we have fear and anger towards debt, then the fear, anger and debt will increase. If we take responsibility for reducing our debt, then what we have is an increasing net worth via decreasing debt and then what we will have more of is an increasing net worth. The debt will decrease via continue payments towards paying off the debt, a new job with higher pay or other means like winning the lottery. So morale of story is if we are angry, resentful or desperate about debt, we will get more of it. If we bring love and peace to our debt by taking control of it, we will make progress on decreasing it. […]
June 30th, 2006 at 11:42 am
[…] My Financial Awareness pontificates on why we get what we have, not what we want. […]
July 17th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
[…] To understand the aspects of tithing and giving and receiving, it is important to first to understand the principle of what we focus on will expand. This concept is explained further in “We get what we have, not what we want” and “Gift of Tithing – Part I” . It is also important to understand Wayne Dyer’s saying, “what we do not want will expand.” This is important because the focus is on what we do not want (what we are trying to avoid), thus what we do not want will expand. […]
July 28th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
[…] The third part of tithing is that tithing showing us that we are already abundant. Yet, how many of us really believe this? Usually, it is about if I had just a little bit more for (fill in blank) then everything will be o.k. Yet, money is not going to make us feel prosperous and happy. Studies have been done on what would a typical American need to feel prosperous? The answer may be $1 million. Then a millionaire is asked what he needs to feel prosperous, the answer may mean $5 million. So the issue is not the money, yet believing that we need a little more to be happy. And, as I discussed before, we get what we have not what we want. So if we want a little more, it isn’t going to happen unless the focus is on the abundance that we already have. […]
August 25th, 2006 at 6:25 am
[…] The key is to enjoy life now because you never know how long you have to enjoy life. If we keep on waiting, it may never come. In addition, the universe provides us what we have not what we want. So if you want to be happy, it will be elusive unless you can be happy in the present. […]
October 18th, 2006 at 9:28 am
[…] • Shift from victim mentality to being responsible for the choices you make When you see you have choices, you see that you have more power and responsibility for the situation then you may have realized. Yes, you may be paid less than you deserve at work, yet how you react to it is even more important to your financial happiness. If you are a victim, there is no reason to change. If you see that you have choices, you can then take action. And, if you are waiting to have money to make your choices, it may be too late. Sometimes we need to make choices in our budget because having more money doesn’t come until we see that we have it already (we get what we have not what we want). In a class, a student once described her money situation as paying her bills based on who was knocking down the door at that time. After doing a budget, she found that she had choices on which bills to pay and found that instead of being constantly behind she could be ahead of the game instead. […]