When reading the Tao Te Ching the other day, I was stuck by how the 9th passage summed up what I was thinking about money especially because it was written over 2,500 years ago.

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.

Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.

Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.

Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.

Do you work, then step back.

The only path to serenity.

Before reading this, I was contemplating writing an article about “What kind of life do we want to live?” In the article, I was going to discuss on some people in their quest to financial independence have actually been caught in a trap where money has taken over their lives instead of giving them independence. I may step on some toes, yet if we spend all our time tracking our finances, what kind of life are we living? With all the books, shows and blogs on personal finance, we could keep us so busy learning that we have no time for life. We could also keep ourselves busy by:

• Tracking our net worth to the penny by counting our change jar each month

• Recording all our expenses to the penny over the year to see if our budget is accurate

• Tracking our investments every day at work wondering if we are still on track for retirement

• Fighting with our spouse over $50 not accounted for in the budget reconciliation

• Attending the countless lectures on how to become rich

• Fretting over every fender bender and its impact on our budget

I think that it is great that the area of personal finance has drawn so much attention lately where people are learning how to take control over their financial lives. Many people have started tracking their spending and debt which has helped them get out of debt and the stress that debt can bring. Yet, I wonder if we are going too far in how much we let money control our lives.

From the wisdom of the Tao, in the rush to become the next millionaire, are we then not letting our hearts unclench. We let the love of money drive many of our decisions instead of the love of life. Money has become the excuse to get divorced instead of love driving the decision. We as parents feel like failures if our children do not understand the value of a dollar and accumulate large debt in college. Fathers in New York City brag about their high tech baby strollers with extra wide wheels and then dread working overtime to support their lifestyle. What does that say about our society where financial decisions have such an impact on how we live and love?

The passage in the Tao does not imply that we should ignore personal finance or work either. As it says do your work and personal finance is something that we need to work at. However, we should set up our plan, then step back and enjoy life. This means:

• We do a quick reconciliation of the budget instead of tracking it to the penny.

• We define ourselves by who we are on the inside instead of by our net worth or size of our home (else we become other people’s prisoner or a prisoner to money).

• We figure out what really brings us the most peace, love and joy when doing our budget (even if it is the latte) instead of scrutinizing every penny that we can cut where the knife will become blunt (in other words, we will feel deprived and tired).

• We practice gratitude of what our financial work has given us in peace, love and joy instead of beating ourselves or spouse up for not following the budget.

• Instead of figuring out the 15% gratuity, give the value of what you received even if it is 50% of the bill. Or better yet, give the servers the best night they have had that week by thanking them personally for their service, by being friendly and cordial, by asking how their night is going, etc. (e.g., change the tables, figuratively, and serve them kindness and compassion).

Financial planning should be about setting up our plan and then taking a step back and observing it instead of being consumed by it. If financial planning is taking more than a few hours a week (or even a month), see if it is just a fun hobby or an infatuation with becoming rich that interferes with having fun with your family and friends. Financial freedom does not come from having money, yet the ability to feel secure by knowing who you are. Our grandparents survived the Great Depression not because of their money (because many lost all they had), yet from their hard work, perseverance, determination and knowing that a new day was around the corner. As the saying goes, you can’t take your toys with you when you die. So, enjoy this moment in time with an unclenched heart rather than striving for the goal to become a millionaire or to retire at 55. Set up your financial plan, yet do not become consumed by it.  And know what you really want in life.  Is it having money or is it really security, peace, joy, happiness?  For me, it is having an unclenched heart instead of a tightly controlled wallet.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 6th, 2006 at 12:30 pm and is filed under Sprituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.