The other day, I wrote about how accepting your financial situation can be freeing. Instead of moving forward with life by accepting their situation, people find themselves stuck in anger and blaming others. The word “accept” is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary to endure without protest or reaction. Accepting a situation for what is doesn’t include blame, anger or upset. I know that it is easier said than done, however if given a chance you will find the whole experience of letting go of blaming others very liberating. So how can it be done? There are a few things that you may want to consider:

1. Know that you are not being treated unfairly

With our litigious society, it seems that many people are looking for reasons why they were treated unfairly and looking for a financial remedy. We love to have a good drama in our lives where there is a victim (us) who gets offended by someone else (perpetrator, for example corporations) and who needs to be rescued (by a hero – for example government). If you believe in the law of attraction, the process of blaming others will only bring more situations your way where you get to play the victim. A victim is like blood in the water that attracts sharks. Salesmen, companies and others know who can be taken advantage of and go after people who portray themselves as victims. Thus, present yourself with confidence who expects to be treated fairly and you will find that you will not attract as many sharks as you use to.

2. Limit or eliminate complaining about your situation

There is a difference between complaining and statement of fact. In talking with someone who works in collections for property taxes, she said that many of the people she calls want to shift the blame for being behind in their taxes onto her (the poor me victim). This attitude actually hurts them because she is more willing to work out a solution with people who want to help themselves (people who admit their mistakes and want to work with her on a solution). The situation is what it is. We may think that complaining will fix the situation. However, there is a hint of a poor me attitude in complaining that shuts down opportunities and solutions by making others shut their ears. Who wants to listen to a poor me story when they hear it all the time (especially for people you owe money to). The people who resonate with complaining are those who also feel like a victim. To solve the situation, you may want to resonate more with people that can help you fix the situation. So shift from complaining to taking charge of the situation. You can still state the facts, yet shift it to what you can do about it versus being the victim and complaining. And, if you do need to release some of your frustration, then find someone who will let you vent and release it so you can get to the facts and action instead of someone who will join you in trying to justify your complaints of be treated unfairly.

3. Understand what your part of the situation is

Part of shifting away from the victim who complains is to understand you part of the situation. It may not be appealing to own up to your part because you believe that the fault is out there. Yet, in any situation, we have played a role and can play a significant role in changing it. When we want to shift the blame, we need to understand that part of it resides with us. It is harder to blame others, when we see our part in it. This does not mean that we should blame ourselves either. The situation is what it is and it is all in the past. History is best used to understand how we got into a situation, so we better understand how we can change it.

4. Know that you can control your situation

Think of three steps that you can do to change the situation. Blaming others pushes away the situation, yet does not get rid of it. The situation just festers until we can understand how we can deal with it to resolve it. Taking action brings the situation back to where it is something that we can handle.

5. Know you are more than your money

I keep on hearing that working for minimum wage is demeaning. Yet, money is money. Self-worth has nothing to do with net worth. If we think a situation is demeaning, it is because we set it up to be that way. If you base your self-worth on your net worth, then it will swing like a pendulum, up and down. If your self-worth is based on whom you are (more than your money), it is relatively steady and secure.

6. Keep things in perspective

What would you want someone say about you at your funeral (hopefully this is way down the road)? Money is usually not in the top 3 things that people want to be remembered for. Yet, because money is a part of everyday life, we raise it to a level of importance that it would not have if we take a step back and put it into perspective. So, even if you are having money problems, know that it is not the end of the world. You still need to deal with it, yet it should not drain you of all your energy either believing that it is the end of the world.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 28th, 2007 at 1:40 pm and is filed under Energy of Money. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.