As the holiday spending spree is upon us, December can be a joyous month with the holidays and visiting family and friends. However, it can lead to a stressful New Year as the bills start coming in. Thus, before you head to the mall, there are a few items to think about:

• Do a Budget

There are many extra expenses that occur this month and next month that should be planned for (e.g., increase in home heating costs, holiday presents, travel costs, special holiday tithe, property taxes due in January, etc.). Thus, before you go spending on presents, calculate how much these bills will become due in January (e.g., heating cost). The credit card bill in January should not come as a surprise that you are not ready for. Even if you do small gifts for your family, these gifts can add up ($20 here and $10 there). The key is to list out all the people you want to buy for and have a good estimate of how much their gifts will be. Don’t say $300 for gifts of the top of your head without allocating it to each person and move on because it is easy for the $300 to morph into $400 as you enter the mall and get enticed by bigger presents. It is o.k. to spend $400 if your budget allows for it. Yet, many people overlook the consequence that even $100 can have, until the bill comes in January.

• Don’t Give Up

Even before sitting down to do a budget, some people think “what is the use to planning” because there is not enough money. They revert to the mentality of being doomed to put the expenses on a credit card and pay it off through out the year. Yet, by giving up, you may find yourself in an even worse situation than before. If you think that you will go $500 in debt due to higher airfares and heating costs this year, that $500 can easily become $1,000 unless you map your budget out ahead of time and work towards it.

• Think about the Meaning of the Holiday’s

As we are inundated by commercials, it is easy to overlook the true meaning of the holidays. The holidays have gone from a religious holiday to a commercialized shopping frenzy. Even though we talk about it each year, how many people step back and revisit the true meaning of Hanukah, Christmas or Kwanza? We may spend a few hours at our place of worship, yet this time is usually dwarfed by the time looking for that perfect gift.

So what do the holidays mean to you? Is it time to remember your spiritual/religious beliefs? Is it time to connect with family? Is it time to go overboard with giving in order to win the approval of others? Once you put the holidays into perspective it is easier to take step back when you are at the mall and ask if you really need to buy the extra gift.

• Giving is about the thought

It is easy to remember the oohs and ahs as that special gift brings when it is unwrapped. Yet, it is harder to remember that in a month time the gift is collecting dust in the basement. Thus, the old saying that it is the thought that matters is usually meet with a rolling of the eyes and thoughts of “here we go again with the Scrooge mentality of do not over spend” because we remember the special thank you when the gift is given.

Yet, for many, giving inexpensive gifts is a necessity of life. My sister-in-law’s finances are tight and she makes her gifts or just gives small gifts. It doesn’t matter to me because I know my 18 month old son will not remember what he got from his aunt. He will just remember spending time with her as we pull out the photo album. For example, the other day got a small wooden train set from my parents when they visited for Thanksgiving. He ended up having a lot of fun with the brown paper bag that they brought the train in. Yet, what he will remember are the good times he had with his cousins from all the photos my wife took.

Thus, remember that gifts are usually forgotten in about a month usually before the bill is paid for.

• Negotiate the Obligatory Gifts

If you feel uncomfortable giving a small gift while receiving a larger gift, then discuss limits to the gift giving with your friends and family. With my family, we rotate which sibling we buy for each year. Thus instead of 3 small gifts for each, we buy 1 nice gift for the one we have that year. For us, it is more of a time constraint of finding several gifts instead of one nice gift.

Many people are putting limits on gift exchanges (e.g., $10 or $20 limit). At my old firm, we had a gag gift exchange with a $5 limit with the twist of being able to swap gifts that others had. So at your family get together, think about making it fun (e.g., Secret Santa) instead of thinking what to get everyone.

Many parents in our son’s playgroup are starting to ask their relatives for a donation to their child’s college tuition instead of getting another toy that our children do not need. It is better to ask for what you want (e.g., future tuition) rather than getting upset for what you (or your child) got.

• Don’t Be Swayed By a Sale

In watching the news today, it seems that a trend for Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving) was men spending more than women for electronics. Part of it can be the lure of a sale makes it sound like the best time to buy that plasma television that they want. Even if you find that great sale, it can cost you plenty in credit card interest (maybe more than the discount itself) if you can not pay the credit card bill when it comes due in January.

Thus, know what you want and the price you are willing to pay for it before being swayed by the 50% off sign.

The holiday season should be the time of celebration and giving. I discuss that giving freely is a path towards prosperity. Yet, giving is about giving of the whole of who you are, not just your money.