I was listening to NPR on show about universal health care. In listening to the report, I started thinking if we have universal health care what will change? We should have more people covered by insurance so that people should not worry as much about going to the doctor. Yet, do we need to do more than give insurance to people to improve health care?

Note, this article uses a health care example to show how trust and hope applies to our financial health. The premise is that when we trust, we take action while when we hope, we give our power away.

In discussions about universal health care, I find that personal responsibility is left out of the discussion. In thinking about the discussions, I notice how we give it away when we hope our situation improves instead of trusting it will. How I see it, universal health care is a hope that it will solve the problem where price is the issue. However, there is something missing in this and that is looking at what we can do or should do now (personal responsibility).

Part of the issue is the cost of insurance. However, part of the issue is also pinned on deductibles and co-pays. Per the proponents, proponents of universe health care say that we would not send tens of thousands of dollars on expensive procedures if we gave more people access to $60 to $100 doctor visits. Is the real issue deductibles and co-pays? I totally agree with this – treat the smaller issues before they become large issues. However, I also view insurance where the small costs should be covered in a budget because when small costs are covered by insurance, the profit, commission and administration costs of insurance would increase the cost of a doctor visit significantly. So, why do we need to provide preventative health care when in perspective, the costs are minimal to other larger health care costs (such as paying some money into an emergency fund instead of paying off credit card debt with high interest rates and fees).

It got me to thinking why do some people forgo the doctor visit (or emergency fund) when they know they have or could have a potential problem. There may be millions of reasons such as not having enough time, not having the money to pay for it or believing that the problem will get better. These solutions are short-term focused versus looking at the long-term (considering impact of what happens if it does not get better).

I have written in the past that struggle (financial or otherwise) makes it harder to get out of a situation because we give up trusting the situation will work and instead we focus on put out short-term fires hoping our long-term situation improves. The energy of putting out fires, keeps us from being able to thrive because our energy goes to the short-term fix instead of long-term solution. For the person with the medical issue, it may be a struggle between going to the doctor and putting food on the table. There may be a hope that the medical condition improves on its own, as other medical issues may have done in the past. The morale is that the short-term struggle with living day-to-day keeps people from having a long-term outlook of healthy living. This keeps the struggle going from one issue to the next, as time is spent overcoming one issue a new issue comes up.

I bring this up because even if we have universal health care, we will still leave other problems because universal health care does nothing to solve some of the long-term preventative issues (e.g., exercises, nutrition, etc.) that would go a long way in taking care of short-term issues (costs) due to poor health. It is easy to forgo that morning workout because our schedules are too hectic. Yet, the underlying issues is we are hoping some short-term work (go to work to catch up or spend time catching up with friends and family) to make our lives better versus looking at a long-term solution (proper eating and exercise) which can give us better vitality where we can get more done in less time.

To bring this back to trust and hope, when faced with a struggle our instincts are to focus on the short-term hoping the situation improves instead of focusing long-term solution and trusting. Financially, this may be living day-to-day and hoping for government to step in and help (with universal health care, lower taxes or more benefits) or for a company to offer us a better position with proper pay. As we focus short-term, we overlook long-term solutions which need to be done to get up on our feet and stay up (education, savings, balanced budget, etc.).

The key difference, in which situation we take either short-term (living day-to-day in struggle) or long-term (the solution), are trust. The more trust we have the longer-term focus we develop and the better off we will be. Trust is having an unshakeable belief that we can make it through a situation, thus our focus in long-term (our future). Hope is having a disbelief that we can make it through, so our focus is on what is lacking now in the short-term (here and now) because a better tomorrow may never come. We may think of hope as looking at tomorrow (future), yet it is more about what is going on today (here and now). Hope is about believing that today is not so good and that tomorrow is our only option. Trust, on the other hand, is about knowing a bump in the road is temporary so the focus is not as much about now (the bump in the road) rather the future (the road to recovery from the bump). Trust is about doing what we need to do to stay on our long-term course.

We may think of trust as giving up control and hoping. So what is the distinction? When we fly, we trust the pilot. Yet, before trusting the pilot we have actually done our homework that their airline is relatively safe (taken some responsibility on taking action on research). If we have not done our homework (known that flying is safe), we are hoping and praying that the flight will make it. Trust is doing what we can and letting the rest go. When we say that we trust that things will work out and do nothing, it is actually hope because everything is out of our hands. We are saying that we do not have any influence on the outcome, thus this is the only option is to hope a higher power (in one form or another, spiritual or government) to step in and save us. We are saved by doing our part and trusting the rest.

We may want the government to help us with things like universal health care and hope it actually happens. Yet even if we get it, it does not work unless we do our side of preventative health (do not get sunburn, over and over again; exercise; do not smoke, etc.). Trust is doing what we can about our health, knowing that everything will be alright because we have taken that first step.

Financially, when we are in a struggle, we need to shift from hoping our situation improves (questionable belief) to trusting that it will (rock-solid belief). This means taking action on a long-term perspective to get to where we want to go because we when we trust, we take action. When we hope, we leave it up to someone else to step in doubting we can make it happen on our own.

If we had a rock-solid knowing (trust) in our financial situation, we would pay for the $60-$100 doctor visit to ensure our long-term success instead of hoping the condition gets better because we are struggling day-to-day hoping our situation improves. Universal health care can help with some of the higher bills. Yet unless we take action on our own to go to the doctor and exercise, universal health care is only a hope that something happens to improve our health and finances instead of trusting if we do our part, the rest will fall in place. Financially, for people in trouble, this is doing our part to cut our spending, increase our income (improving our skills) and becoming a better risk candidate (to lower our interest rates), knowing that other things will fall into place to reduce our situation (or debt).

Thus, even before we hit the financial side of what to do, the key is to look at our beliefs. If we are hoping (doubtful) of a better financial future, we need to transform it to a trusting (knowing). We do this by seeing how much control we have in a situation and knowing that the universe has not stacked a deck of cards against us (where everything goes against us). Thus, look at your situation with a fresh set of eyes and list everything that you can control about your finances. If we are honest, there may be more that we can control than we initially thought of.

First off, sorry again for taking a few weeks off from blogging. I have been kept from typing and doing much of anything due to have severe pain up and down my arm (from fingers to elbow) probably from typing too much for a book that I am writing. It is not carpel tunnel rather something else that my doctor could not specifically identify. He believes that it is caused by how my arms were resting when typing that somehow pinched a nerve or muscle, so we will see how it goes as I start typing again.

Anyways, a while ago I received a series of comments from a reader questioning the impact of what I write about. I want to take this opportunity to explain why I write the way that I do. In particular, there are probably many people taking a quick glance at what I write about (financial behaviors) wondering how it can help people who is living paycheck to paycheck with little hope of getting ahead. This appears to be where the commenter was coming from when he wrote

Which reminds me, what good is “financial awareness” if you have no money?

It is hard to explain my whole point of view in a short blog which is why I am excited to being closer to submitting my first book to a publisher. My first draft is currently with an editor who has been helping me organize my ideas better. Yet, in a nutshell, my philosophy is based on when we are caught in a struggle (living day-to-day) it may not money that is holding us back rather our thoughts and beliefs about money. For example, I have offered my services free of charge to many people who have been struggling with money and for the most part have not been taken up on the offer. The key is that when we are in the struggle, we lose sight of opportunities and believe that there is no way out (or a single solution that we try over and over again with no substantial results) thus do not take opportunities when they present themselves. Thus, it should not surprise me that my offers have been ignored because people grown to believe that there is no hope. For example, one of the comments that I have seen over and over again, is similar to

I apparently have no marketable skills, no career-related experience, and no money to go back to school to acquire a marketable skill.

We have a tendency to get caught in the belief that college education as being the end all-be all way to get ahead. I am a strong proponent of education. However, there are other ways to get ahead if one path is blocked. For example, I have a friend who went into the military after high school. After his military service, he worked his way up to being a manager for a large grocery store. However, he end up being fired from that job along with a few others and each time settling for lower and lower managerial positions at smaller and smaller stores. And, even these positions dried up for him. He ended up starting a website design business by teaching himself about the web design industry and programs. As some people know, web design is a highly competitive field to crack into because many people are trying to do the same things. Along the way, he and his wife barely made ends especially with two daughters in college. Yet, he was not discouraged. His ability to learn web design ultimately lead him to being hired at a computer software company where he has worked his way up the ranks and has developed skills sets that are highly sought after, making him very valuable to the company. The key is where there is a will there is a way if we open ourselves to opportunities instead of limitations. Thus, sometimes it is not about the money rather our behaviors (for example, our “lack”/”poor me” thinking) that needs to be addressed to get ourselves out of our financial struggle.

I believe that one of the biggest hurdles we face that influences our behaviors is our belief that “doing what we love” needs to come in a specific form. Thus, we get discouraged when we do not see things go exactly as we would like things to be. In asking people what they would do if money and time was no object, I have head millions of ideas such as “opening up a center to help (fill in blank) ”, living on a beach front house or “starting my own business”. What we normally focus on is the form of what we want believing that it will bring us happiness. We then push ourselves to acquire or accomplish these tasks while we minimalize what we are doing now and may never find lasting happiness in our drive for success.

Instead, I ask people to focus on what they want to give or what they want to accomplish (in generality – not specific outcomes). When we focus on what is important the ultimate goal (not specific actions), we leave it up to the universe to provide us the form to do it in. For myself, I enjoy being a teacher and helping people. Yet, for years, I was caught in a consulting job where we helped large companies instead of individual people. I could have been miserable in this position because it was not the form of what I wanted because our focus was on helping corporations instead of where I wanted to focus on in helping people. However, I focused on helping people whether it was in volunteer activities that I did on weekends or it was being a mentor to younger employees at work all while helping corporations in my job. Thus, when I hear people say:

What if what you love requires money up front which you don’t have and cannot get?

I suggest looking at doing what we love to do where we are at. We may not be able to do it 100% in the job we currently have and see what behaviors and thoughts we have that get in the way. We can work in things that we love into our lives and our interactions with people without making major changes in our life. What about if we want to sing and we are caught being a janitor? The key is to understand singing is the form of what we want and focusing on the form (singing) as the source of our happiness will make us miserable. They key is what we get by singing? Do we get to be creative or do we get to bring joy to people through our voice? If it is joy, we can do this no matter what job we have. I have a mailman who always greets me with a smile every time that I see him. I do not know him all that well, yet that one minute interaction with him brightens my day. Thus if giving joy is his mission in life, he does it where he is at. And, being a janitor does not mean that a person can not sing while working or do karaoke after work or perform on weekends. If we see our ability to do what we love controlled by outside influences, we need to shift and to look at our behavior instead of how much money we may have. Just look at the recent winner of Britain’s Got Talent. A mobile phone salesman (Paul Potts) just received a two million dollar recording deal because he did not let his work situation get in the way of his passion for opera. He did not have to quit his job to get noticed, rather do what he loved where he was at. In reality, being a salesman probably helped him win the competition (type of rags to riches story).

Thus, next time you think that money is keeping you down; I encourage you to become aware of your behavior to see what may be holding you back. All I can say is that anytime someone has worked with me and stayed with becoming more aware of their thoughts and behaviors, they have seen the results. Others however have become discouraged and gave up when I have not given them a top 10 quick fix on how to become a millionaire that is one size fits all. They did not realize that how we think, act and behave has more impact on their finances than knowing just the tools. This is why many people on diets fail when they just focus on the diet and do not become more aware at what is causing them to eat (their behaviors).

If you need help to help identify what is holding you back, drop me an e-mail (pete at myfinancialawareness dot com) and we can chat. I have not let money get in the way of living my passion for helping people. My coaching services have been based on accepting only donations/gifts (and sometimes times nothing at all) solely based on my clients’ choice and/or ability to give back.

Many people know what it is like to live paycheck to paycheck. We (as a society) have made a game out of living on the edge, kind of like playing chicken waiting for someone else to blink first. Unfortunately, the economy does not blink by allowing us to continue to live on the edge indefinitely. Thus, for many, living on the edge, waiting for our fortunes to change, is a disaster waiting to happen. It is a waiting game where one small financial hiccup puts them over the edge and possibly into bankruptcy. It can be scary to live on the edge, yet we, as a society, have become so good at it that we have become masters in the art of tight rope walking. Each time that we survive, we get a little braver and take on more risks, walk even a finer line between financial success and financial disaster. It only takes one little slip to fall off the edge. Why do we do it? We have become accustomed to thinking in terms that just getting by is good enough. We have fallen into a trap without even realizing it. So why have we fallen into this trap?

We get a little ahead and then ease off

When we have financial trouble, we have set our goals just to the point of recovering such as getting out of debt but not higher goal of saving (as mentioned in Why is Getting Out of Debt so Hard?). It is like saying that we will go on a diet if we hit 200 lbs. When we see the scales tip to 205, we make a goal of losing 5 pounds and slip back into our old habits when the scale tips to 199. Because our goal was not higher, we stay right at the edge. Financially, this is living day by day. So, when we fall into debt, we make quick changes to get out and ease off our financial goals when our debt is eliminated, yet never are far removed from slipping back into debt again.

If we see ourselves tilting over the edge a bit, we make small changes that last a few months (e.g. make a goal of not eating out at all) to get us back from falling over the edge. The short-term changes we make are just that, short-term and are sometimes unrealistic in the long-term. Thus, we keep on going on and off diets and are happy with the results in the short-term. However, the changes we make can not be sustained over the long term (e.g., live on bread and peanut butter for a month). We choose the short-term solutions instead of looking for a better longer-term solution (looking for a room mate to share the rent payments) which can get us ahead of the game. Sometimes what we need is a longer-term change that will get us beyond our short-term goal of just surviving. Yet, for someone living on the edge, all they look at is the short-term, wondering if something will happen.

Do not want to be too greedy

Sometimes when we are struggling financially, we envy those who are well off. For some this is used as motivation to achieve what they want. For others, it brings up resentments that others have what they do not. Thus, for this group, they form a belief that the rich are just greedy and should be despised with their resentments. Unfortunately when their financial fortune turns around, they avoid being like those greedy people that they despise. They tend sabotage their success so that they do not appear to be greedy (hoarding money) like the people they despise. And, in their mind, they have not set the limit of what is greedy ($1 million, $100,000 or $10,000). Thus, having any money can be construed to be well off and thus can lead to greed. So they unconsciously avoid having any substantial amount of money.

No motivation to change

When living on the edge, we have a sense of what can happen (e.g., having a financial setback). Yet, there is no real motivation to change our habits. If things are going o.k. now, why would we want to make a change that makes us feel like we have lost something (cut back on some spending). We rather feel o.k. now than deal with the shame that we would have by giving something up or by not giving our children everything they should have. We would rather stay the course (and play to a draw) than feel like we just lost a game (need to give something up), even though it would have set us up for a brighter future. We put so much of our worth in what we have that giving up something can seem like a fate worse than death because it represents a failure. We need to see that just like exercising is critical for our future health that setting up an emergency and retirement fund is critical for our financial health.

Complacency

If many American’s are living paycheck to paycheck, it is easy to fall into the trap that this is all there is. If others can not get out of the situation, why would we be able to? Role models play a big part of our financial success (and success in life). If we look around to see everyone else living paycheck to paycheck, we feel that we are off the hook from trying to achieve anything different.

Envy

We look at others who seem to be having the good life: sailing on their yachts, traveling around the world or even just sitting back in the back yards cooking on their monster grill. We want a glimpse of this perceived good life and take any opportunity to get it without thinking about the long-term circumstances. The drive to ease this envy is so overwhelming that we give into it (reason why marketing works), like needing to get an ice cream cone on a hot summer day at the beach. When we tie our happiness based on having what others have, we are more concerned about the “here and now” more than setting up a solid financial plan for the future.

Taking advantage of not being behind

I was reminded today watching the news that when we have a nice day outside (especially in Cleveland), we take advantage of it wondering if we will get a series of bad days (snow or rain). In working with people’s finances, I have heard the phrase that “money seems to slip through my (their) fingers as soon as it comes” their way. For some, the belief that they can have money is difficult to imagine. Thus, once they do get some money, they figure they might as well to spend it before something else comes up (e.g., bill collector or an unplanned expense) that takes their money before they can enjoy it.

So what can we do?

1. Set up a financial plan

By seeing what we want to shoot for, we become less envious of what others have around us because we are focused more on our goals.

2. Pick better role models

We often set our sights too low on what we can accomplish. We see people like Oprah and believe that she is lucky, something that we can not achieve. So, we choose examples of what we can accomplish (or not) and never really push ourselves to bigger and better things. So pick a role model of someone that has achieved success, something that you can strive to become.

3. Understand how abundance works

Unfortunately, the world does not work where if we give up some money, it will end up magically with someone who may need it. Even if we give a direct donation, it may help the person short-term yet not long-term. People who don’t feel abundant need more than our money. They need to understand how to fish (figuratively). We can not become poor enough to help others to escape their poverty. By not living up to our full potential, we may actually give them another role model showing them why living day to day is not all that bad to achieve for. If Bill Gates settled for living in his parent’s garage, where would we be today? Bill has made a lot of money, yet he has also help generate a lot of jobs for others. If he played small and did not claim his abundance, he would have been able to serve the world like he has with jobs and all his charity work. He did not take abundance from others, rather generated more abundance by creating jobs and a computer system that has made our lives easier (even though we complain about it crashing).

4. See how we have become complacent

Probably the biggest step is to become aware of we have settled for living paycheck to paycheck instead of having what we could have achieved whether it is with money or other aspects of our life. If we do not see how we have kept ourselves a prisoner to living on the edge financially, we will not understand that we also have the ability to get out of the situation.

As we head into tax session, many people are going to be given a test on how much of their income they report. For many, this is an easy decision because their employer issues them a W-2 which makes it difficult to cheat. For others, who are self-employed or receive tips, it makes easier to hide some of their income and thus have a harder test to be honest. Word of warning if you are thinking about cheating on your taxes, do not do it! Even if there is not a chance of being caught, there are other reasons why you should avoid cheating on your taxes.

We all know the primary reason about committing a crime. Even if there is little chance of being caught, you may end up spending energy looking over your shoulder hoping that you never get audited and caught. I remember hearing a story when I was young about my dad’s boss who had a radar detector. He was speeding and relied on the detector to keep him out of trouble. Yet, at each corner of the road while driving with my dad, he kept on straining his neck to see if a cop was hiding ready to catch him. Needless to say, he was very stressed during the whole drive. Cheating on your taxes (even with a minimal chance of being caught) can create stress that robs you of energy for making even more money. However, if this was the only reason not to cheat, this would be a short article and it has not deterred many from underreporting their earnings which has resulted in of the $290 billion tax gap (difference in what the government should have collected and actually did collect).

Another main reason why to play it straight is karma. If you do not know what karma is, you can watch the show, My Name is Earl. Karma for me is about the cycle of energy. When we send energy out (and thoughts for that matter) to the Universe, it ultimately comes back to us. By cheating on your taxes, this is telling the universe that it is o.k. for others to cheat you. By taking the easy way out, you are giving others permission to take the easy way out at your expense. In talking to someone who was thinking about not reporting $600 of income for job, I talked to her about karma. Someone who heard me related a story about how a coworker came to her that day trying to take the easy way out and get her to do his work for him. Later that same day, someone stole his briefcase with his wallet in it (taking the easy way to money). I am not saying that the two incidents are related. However, there are coincidences that happen all the time and the first word is co-(incidences) meaning the person did something to create the situation in his life.

Everyone does it, don’t they? That is the problem. Many see cheating as no big deal while getting infuriated that people are cheating them. I even remember a tax preparer telling an undercover reporter that tips earned do not need to be included in his income for tax purposes. I guess that is one way to ensure the tax preparer provided the undercover reporter the largest refund. Some try to justify it as not fair that they have so little and pay so much in taxes when it would be easier to tax the rich. Trying to justify cheating is still cheating and makes it o.k. for others to do it as well. So, is it o.k. for a company cheats their employees if it means they can have larger profits? Some of those who say “no” are also the ones cheating on their taxes. They may complain that they are being “nickled and dimed” thus need to save money any way they can. However, by cheating others, they are only cheating themselves and invite others to nickel and dime them.

This even goes beyond karma. It is about your beliefs about your life. For example, if you feel the need to cheat to get ahead, then you may also believe that:

1. I can not get ahead with my abilities (if you could get ahead then you wouldn’t need to cheat)

2. I will always have lack (if you had enough or if prosperity was on its way to, then why would you need to cheat)

3. Someone else will cheat me (e.g., government with high taxes), so I need to cheat them first

4. Money is more important than who I am (you wouldn’t trade your values if you really valued yourself)

5. Money can hurt me (how can a piece of paper hurt someone though?)

Note, most of these beliefs come from feeling powerless in ones abilities to control money in their life. So if it is for you, it may be time to take power back by doing a financial plan with the first step being a budget.

For more, see How To Regain Power in Your Financial Life

In a comment to my article on “How a good opportunity be a snake oil salesman when the intent is to become rich”, LaserTroly wrote:

I completely agree with your view that just by the force of the energy we put into it, we often attracts what we don’t want.

Emotions so often become a spiral, feeding on themselves and getting stronger. Then when events in our lives reinforce them (when we get what we feared), we believe that those fears were right all along. Our worldview shifts, little by little, until we completely believe these ideas.

But how to get out of this trap?

How do you identify those thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back, when your entire framework for viewing the world seems so familiar, natural and right? How do you separate out the stuff that’s not working from the stuff that is? Then how do you go about changing your programming, given that you inadvertently developed this harmful belief system in the first place? What to embrace and how to do it?

For it to stick, you must really buy into the new belief system - just paying lip service to a set of principles won’t do the trick. How to effect such a deep and lasting change?

I always can count on LaserTroly to ask those deep questions that keep me thinking and are hard to answer easily in a blog article. Yet, here is my attempt to summarize it all:

But how to get out of this trap?

First, this is a personal issue that everyone is responsible for themselves. It is hard, if not impossible, to force someone to change when they believe what that they are on the right path. Second, there over 6 billion people on this earth, thus there are 6 billion paths that people can take to reach where they are meant (or want) to be.

The key for me is to have an open mind, not attached to anything. This allows to me look at other people’s point of view and see the merit behind their beliefs and thoughts. Yet, this is tough to do if we want to be right. If I believe that my way is the only way to enlightenment, then I have trapped myself into a fixed way of being, whether it is right or wrong.

For me, the light bulb went on in talking with a friend at work. I was angry and she gave told me that I could continue to look at the same insurmountable mountain or turn around and see the beautiful meadow. It was my choice. She said this at a point in my life where I was angry and stressed out and I finally said “There Has To Be a Better Way” which opened my eyes to different teachings.

How do you identify those thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back, when your entire framework for viewing the world seems so familiar, natural and right?

The key is to know how you want to live on this earth. For me, it is the same way that I want my son, who is 18 months, to live (peacefully, happily, joyfully and lovingly). Thus, every other emotion (anger, shame, guilt, fear, etc.) is not the way that I want to be because it blocks how I want to live. When these feelings (anger, shame, guilt, fear, etc.) come up, it can be a learning experience of identifying which thoughts and beliefs are not serving us and thus these thought patterns and beliefs should be looked at to see if we want to change them.

There is a catch also. For each emotion (peace, love, joy, happy, etc) that we want to live by, we need to see if it is real or not. I will define a non-real emotion as one where I need the situation to feel a certain way. To me this is more like an addiction. For example, I can feel good when I have a glass of wine occasionally. Yet, if I can not be happy without it, it is the start of an addiction. An addiction starts, where I may need just one glass to relive the periodic stress of the day in order to be happy and then turns into a situation where I need more of it and need it every day to feel good. The same is true for money. If I need a raise to feel good, it is only temporary (thus not real). A few months after the raise, I probably have forgotten about the raise and need another raise to feel good. Being happy with a raise is not real because it may be covering up a lack of self-worth where I need someone to give me more money to prove that I am good enough. Do not get me wrong, getting a raise is great. Yet, when we use it to feel good about ourselves, it is covering up the issue that we need to fix. The non-real aspect of this is that it only relieved the symptom (wanting) and did not solve the problem (possible self-wroth) only covered it up.

Then how do you go about changing your programming, given that you inadvertently developed this harmful belief system in the first place?

For me, I look at my beliefs and thoughts and see how they are not serving me. By looking at it, I can see how it works. Once I have looked at my beliefs (that create emotions that do not serve me), most of the work had already been done because I can see the trap and know how to get out of it. It is like getting trapped in a ditch. The first few times you get caught in the ditch, it may take a while to find your way out. Yet, once you are aware of the traps, you may slip back into the trap from time to time, yet you know the way out quickly. And, after awhile, you know how to avoid the trap all together. It all starts by looking at the trap and by knowing how it works.

This is where I am different than some prosperity teachings out there that say you only need to think positive thoughts to get what you want. When 80% to 90% of our thoughts are unconscious thoughts, changing only 10% to 20% of our conscious thoughts to be more prosperous is only creating a small wave against the larger tide of unconscious thoughts. For me, it makes more sense to observe the 80% to 90% of our unconscious thoughts, so I can change that pattern instead of just covering them up with conscious thoughts about prosperity. It does not solve the problem that generates our unconscious thoughts. Now, changing 10% to 20% of our thoughts sometimes can change the tide. Yet, many times, when our unconscious thoughts are so ingrained, these thoughts need to be detected and changed to change the tide. The key to uncovering our unconscious thoughts is to look at what happens in our lives (the outcomes).

There are three traps that a friend of mine (Greg Liber) teaches. It is hard to cover them all here, so you can hit the link and find out more about them.

1) Cycle of ExperienceThis is where we keep on experiencing the same things over and over again based on our beliefs. Our beliefs shape the way we see the world. So, it is our beliefs about who we are that can trap us.

Solutions: Change our beliefs that do not serve you or gather evidence to prove our old belief wrong

2) Cycle of ShameThis is where we feel that we are not good enough. Thus, we look outside ourselves to addictions (food, work, alcohol, etc.) to feel better. Yet, in the end those feelings of not being good enough come back stronger because we did not address them.

Solution: This is inner work of knowing who we are, in other words, what makes us magnificent

3) Drama CycleThis is where we feel like a victim of what happens in the outside world. Think about what sells these days, a good drama or a feel good movie? We become addicted to the drama so we can blame others for what is wrong.

Solution: The only solution is to know that you are creating the drama and want something else. Thus, you change your behavior that creates drama. If you insist on changing the world to solve the particular drama, this will only change the channel to a different drama.

How to effect such a deep and lasting change?

There is a saying, “The egos way starts off easy and gets hard. God’s way starts of hard and gets easy”. I have joked with some friends that the path to enlightenment is too hard because I need to keep on looking at myself and figure out what is not working.

When we look at the world to change to make us happy, we are really just temporarily getting rid of our anger, guilt, shame, etc. We get angry at others to make ourselves feel better by pointing the figure at them. It feels good for a short time (egos way, starts off easy). Yet, because the source of the anger, shame, guilt, etc. inside us has not changed, it just comes back in a different form (gets harder because the problem get bigger from being reinforced).

When we look within ourselves to change, it is hard at first because it is a constant process of what thoughts or beliefs are not serving us. It does take work. Yet, I find that it gets easier as I go further down this path because where I use to be angry or upset for days or weeks at a time when I first started this path, now my anger only lasts a few minutes or hours (sometimes a few days).

To keep it going, I surround myself with others who are on similar path to help encourage me and to use as a sounding board when I need to vent. In our discussions, they usually point out what I am overlooking to get myself back on the right path.

As a side note, my blogging may slow down over the next 3 to 6 months, as I put more time into two other projects (writing a book is one and the other I hope to announce in 3-4 months). This is in addition to watching my 18 month old son during the days which keeps me busy. Please be patient during this time, it will be worth the wait if things work out the way that they are starting to unfold.